I LAV HIM.
(Source: dreamcats, via sweethomestyle)
I AM STAYING HOME FROM SCHOOL TODAY
Reasons why: (in order of importance)
1. I didn’t do my homework
2. I spilled soup on myself and am still nursing the burn
3. I have a little bit of a sore throat (although it might all be in my head. I do this sometimes)
FOLLOWUP OF LAST POST
As I was typing this, I started laughing again, and peed myself a little. As I stood up to go check the damage, I spilled split PEA soup on myself (IRONY) Um, it was really hot, and now I think I burned myself. I’m gonna go call my mom now.
ONE OF MY FUNNIEST DREAMS EVER. LAST NIGHT. WTF.
OK so I was listening to the Lil Wayne song “I’m Single” before bed. Also ate some Arby’s.
I dream I’m dating Weezy. Me, Weezy and some dude that looked like Rick Ross were all sitting on a couch in what I assume was their studio. Weezy is telling me how he will probably only want to be with me for another month and then he is going to split (?LOL?). I’m nodding my head all sad and Rick Ross-dude hugs me. Then him and Weezy start talking business, so I’m sitting on the end of the couch alone. All of the sudden, I start farting uncontrollably. I can’t stop. The guys pretend to ignore it for 10 seconds and eventually Weezy looks over at me like “gross b!tch” and I remember thinking “well there goes that month…” and then I woke up. Except…I woke up because I was ACTUALLY FARTING.
DEAR GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
WHAT IS WRONG
Oh boy, today at school was equally as awkward! (fake enthusiasm) I had to arrange salami. (Yeah.)
In French class, we were doing some lame ass cooking thing (MAKING CREPES. DURR) and apparently there was other food besides crepes..like lettuce, and salami. (WUT…right?) By the way, I find salami repulsive. I was a vegetarian for 6 years, until last week. (Bacon, man. Bacon) This was basically my conversation with my teacher.
Me: Should I … cut the salami or something? (does this sound sexual to anyone else?)
Teacher: SAUCISSON!
Me: (my mind: Am I gonna get shot?) Wait…what. Um.
Teacher. We always use French in the classroom. SAUCISSON is french for salami.
Me: (my mind: I may still get shot. Her eyes look a little bit glassy. I bet she’s about to go on a drug fueled rampage…) Okay. Should I arrange or cut the SAUCISSON then?
Teacher: Yes.
Me: (my mind: she didn’t answer my question. EEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeeee what do I do? WHAT DO I DO!? SHOULD I ASK SOMEONE FOR HELP? AHH. DAMN IT. DAMN IT. DAMN THIS TO HELL. DAMN THIS SCHOOL. DAMN MY LIFE. I NEED TO ASK SOMEONE.) Okay. Thanks.
(I walk over to another seemingly unthreatening-looking person in my class)
Me: Hi. Do you know if we’re supposed to arrange-….
Him: You have a nosebleed.
Me: (my mind: I am going to cry about this when I get home and then go on webMD and self diagnose myself with Agoraphobia and Scarlet Fever) Oh, wow! Thanks for catching that. Be right back!
Yeah. I was smiling and speaking in exclamations with a nosebleed. I looked like a creep.
Also I might have Scarlet Fever. And why do I always think I’m gonna get shot?
